I'm Not Falling For You
by SkywardShadow
Summary: Saki is a Mist kunoichi who's just been dragged to Konoha, along with the rest of her team, because of an important meeting. Chaos will ensue, as she seems incapable of keeping her mouth shut. Particularly around a certain 'Emo Kid'. !DISCONTINUED!
1. Of Sarcasm and Walking Textbooks

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto..just my OCs.

**Chapter One: Of Sarcasm and Walking Textbooks**

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

_-Kirigakure-_

"A Kage meeting." Flat.

"..Yes." Resigned.

"And may I ask why _we_ are being dragged along?!" Impatient.

My sensei, Animizu Touko, sighed as she watched me steadily grow more and more irritated. "I've explained this," she said with a probably forced calmness. "I've been chosen to guard the Mizukage during the journey and meeting, and I can hardly leave my team lounging idly behind. It would look bad."

I scowled, not impressed one iota by the argument. _Give me a break…'It would look bad'; yeah, right. She could get us out of this if she wanted to, the witch._

"Besides," Touko pressed, "it'll be good..practice for seeing how these types of meetings work, and for dealing with shinobi from other villages."

"…What if I don't _want_ to deal with foreigners?" I snapped. "We went to war with Konoha once, in case you forgot-"

She raised an eyebrow. I guess my immature argument had clued her in to the fact that I was getting desperate. "If every nation hated whichever one it had once warred with," she replied evenly, "then the result would be world chaos."

_Go ahead and act all straight-laced…but aren't violence and war the reasons shinobi exist? What about grudges? Fear? I'd like to see you try to answer that.._ The only response I could trust myself to utter was a scowl and a snarled curse.

"…Houshiro Sakima."

I flinched, as good as physically pained by the use of my given name. It wasn't exactly a secret that I loathed it with a passion. Come on, '_Sakima_'? My parents were deluded. It was _Saki_, and anyone who said otherwise could count on being royally chewed out.

Except for my teacher, of course. I'm not _that_ stupid.

"The 'why' does not matter," Touko stated sternly. "You are going, the rest of Team Animizu is going, and you're going to keep your boundless complaints to yourself. Got it?"

I continued to mutter mutinously under my breath, but kept my gaze fixed grumpily on the ground. Obviously satisfied with her victory, Touko left, undoubtedly to inform the rest of the team of this _interesting_ development.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

"Yo, Saki!"

_Ugh._ I took a deep breath at the disgustingly perky voice and prayed for patience, even though such requests were routinely denied. "…_Yes_, Kasu?"

My cheerful, annoying-as-heck teammate Anka Kasukabe ran up to me, grinning until it looked like his fool face would split. "Did you hear?" he asked excitedly. "We're accompanying Touko-sensei and the Mizukage to Konohagakure for a Kage meeting!!"

"I know. Can't you see me jumping for joy?" My response to his enthusiasm was dripping with sarcasm. The days when those kinds of words would make Kasu's smile falter, though, were long passed. I really missed them sometimes.

"C'mon, it'll be fun! We'll get to meet foreign ninja!" he persisted.

"Yes," I replied grumpily. "Because you know how much I _love_ meeting people."

He shrugged, still irksomely unaffected. "Maybe you'll change your mind once we get there."

I snorted. _Keep telling yourself that._

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

Not that any amount of protests or bratty words could sway Touko once she's changed her mind. Less than a week later we were off to Konoha with the Mizukage and assorted bodyguards in tow. _Yippie._

The journey was drawn-out and boring as heck. Kiri-Mist Village-was foggy and misty (well, duh); pretty lackluster scenery. But it had mystery, and therein lay its beauty…at least, that was the notion that Touko persisted in.

As we neared Konoha, though, trees suddenly started popping up out of nowhere. It was like the world's biggest pack of seeds had been dumped right around one big spot. It made me uneasy. I wasn't used to so much _green_.

"Oak," the voice I had come to seriously dislike remarked. "Maybe a few cypress, over there on the left.."

Enter Yasamaru Ika, the last member of our team. Aka, Walking Textbook Extraordinaire. Currently pointing out and identifying every tree we passed.

You know what I'm talking about. Every team has one-the member too smart for their own good. And for their teammate's sanity. Aforementioned teammate usually being me, as Kasu was too stupid to be bothered by something like that and Touko had evidently become an expert at tuning us out.

"Great, Ika," I stated. "If I ever actually need to know crap like that, I'll let you know. Why don't you spout off something useful, like how much longer before we-"

I stopped. While I had been biting Ika's head off, we'd come to the gates of Leaf Village. _Guess I wasn't really paying attention…_

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

The guards let us in after a minute of questions, for security reasons. Inside was like another world. Buildings were everywhere-not the shabby little huts we had in Mist; I'm talking places with _levels_-as were trees and people. And the sun-I was going to burn after five minutes of walking around, no doubt. Kiri was shaded and dark to the point where if someone asked me what the sun was, it would probably take me a minute to answer. This place was_ bright._

After thirteen years, I had developed a policy, one which I abided by firmly-When in doubt, say something sarcastic. I put it into play right then to avoid having anybody notice my unwilling interest.

"…So this is the great Leaf Village."

Touko gave me a warning look. "Yes. And let me just say this: if any of you cause any trouble during this meeting, it will mean demotion for you and probably worse for me. So keep your mouths shut and your head down, understand?"

I muttered something unintelligible.

"If you were worried about trouble, you shouldn't have brought Saki-kun along," Ika remarked mildly.

"Cut it out, girls," Touko intervened as I opened my mouth to retort. "Ika, please, just don't. We're all a little on edge today."

"Did I say anything that was untrue?" Ika inquired, shoving a few loose strands of pale blond hair back into a ponytail.

"I swear, you little-"

"_Enough_!" our sensei snapped. "The Mizukage is going to go and greet the Hokage; I'm going with him. You three can explore a bit if you want, but if I catch wind that you're making trouble for anyone.." She let the enigmatic threat hang, allowing our imaginations to fill in the blanks. It wasn't a pretty mental picture. She left with the Mizukage, after shooting us one more warning look.

The three of us wandered around aimlessly for awhile. We eventually ended up at a little ramen stand called Ichiraku.

"Oh…lucky me. I love ramen," Ika commented tonelessly, pulling out her wallet and sitting down.

"Wha-?!" I exclaimed. "Look, we don't have time. Touko's probably expecting us back soon." Besides, I loathe ramen. Just the smell of it was enough to make me feel sick. I was hungry too-_really_ hungry, actually-but I would rather chew off my arm than chew one bite of ramen. "Get up. We better get going." I yanked at her arm impatiently, almost jerking her off the seat.

She regarded me calmly, adjusting her glasses. "I'm hungry," she stated. "I think Kasu-kun is, too. You're outvoted 2 to 1. Sorry." And with a shrug she turned back to the counter. "Two bowls, please."

_Two? She's going to eat __**two bowls**__ of ramen?_ Uggghhh. I wouldn't be able to go near her for a long time, for fear of smelling the accursed noodles on her breath.

As Kasu sat and ordered, I stepped just outside the stand and started people-watching to avoid having to look at/smell/breathe the same air as the ramen.

"….need to stop dragging us here, Naruto!"

The irritated reprimand came from my left. Turning, I almost did a double-take.

Walking down the street was _the_ weirdest group I had ever laid eyes on.

The person who had spoken was a green-eyed girl wearing a red fighting dress. Pretty normal, except for the fact that this chick had pink hair. I'm not kidding you here! Bright, bubble-gum pink, and held back by a Leaf forehead protector she was using as a headband.

Walking next to her and looking slightly offended was a spiky-haired blond boy with big blue eyes and whisker marks on his cheeks. He wore an orange jumpsuit so bright you could probably see him from the next country over, and was pulling out a fat froggy wallet. _Uh, okay then..?_

The third member of the little circus was a pale boy with his hands in his pockets. He had dark hair that closely resembled a cockatoo's head (or maybe a duck's butt?), black eyes currently fixed on the ground, and he resonated attitude caught somewhere between arrogant and annoyed.

All three were Konoha shinobi, as evidenced by their forehead protectors. But they were so obviously _different _it was almost painful to watch. Even I could see that they didn't get along well.

Lost in thoughts, I was rendered oblivious as Team Weird strode right up to the ramen stand. I was standing squarely in their path, spacing out as I only seemed to do at the most inopportune moments.

The dark-haired guy bumped into me, bringing me back to reality. "Watch where you're going," I snapped grumpily. Okay, fine, I knew it was rude, but come on-I was tired, and I hadn't eaten in the better part of 48 hours. Not to mention the superior air this guy gave off was really getting on my nerves.

He didn't spare me a glance; just kept walking. I thought I heard a condescending "Tch" escape his lips, but who knows. The blond kid zoomed to a seat like his life depended on it. The pink-haired girl frowned at me. "That was really rude, you know," she said.

A scathingly sarcastic response was one millimeter away from being unleashed, but then I remembered my sensei's earlier warnings. If I started a fight or something here, I could screw up the meeting, in which case Touko would kill me. Or I would end up getting demoted, in which case I'd have to graduate all over again (read: Major Pain) and Touko would kill me, dig me up and kill me again.

No appealing options there, really.

So I gritted my teeth and grumbled a "Yeah, I know." It was the closest you would ever hear me get to an apology. But it seemed to satisfy Pink Hair, who smiled. "It's okay. I'm Haruno Sakura."

_Guess that means I have to introduce myself now._ "Houshiro Saki. I'm here as an..escort of the Mizukage." Hey, it was kind of the truth, right? "My teammates are in there." I gestured to the ramen stand with a grimace.

"You don't like ramen?"

"…I hate it." _You can forget about me sugarcoating my opinion on __**that**__.._

The awkward conversation was temporarily terminated by a small commotion from inside Ichiraku.

"Whaddya mean, I don't have enough for twelve bowls?!" a high-pitched voice yelped.

"You heard me, kid. Sorry; this doesn't cut it." The owner's voice, it sounded like.

"..What if I have _him_ spot me on this one?"

"Not a chance, dobe." Another voice. A bored, condescending one that sounded like it should belong to the dark-haired kid.

"Come on, Sasuke!"

"Forget it."

"You jerk!"

"Tch…Whatever, loser."

I raised an eyebrow as the argument went on. Haruno Sakura turned back to me, looking slightly embarrassed. "Sorry about that. Those are my teammates. They don't really get along. It's mostly Naruto's fault, though; he won't leave Sasuke alone.."

Her voice got different when she said 'Sasuke'. _What; does she like him or something? He seems like a jerk to me.._

"Look, kids, you're gonna scare off customers. Naruto, take that last bowl on the house-but just this once, you hear? Now go on," the owner was saying exasperatedly.

Four people came spilling out of the ramen stand. Ika, Kasu, and Sakura's teammates.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked Ika and Kasu. "We finished," they chorused with a 'duh' look.

"Saki-san?" Sakura was talking. _Is she going to introduce her friends..? Spare me. Please._

No such luck. "These are my teammates," she said with a smile. "Uzumaki Naruto-" the blond kid "-and Uchiha Sasuke." The emo kid.

_Just grin and bear it. Get the intros over with and then run like a bat out of hell._ It was a good plan. I forced myself to smile. "This is Anka Kasukabe-" he ran his fingers back through brown hair and grinned "-and Yasamaru Ika." "It's nice to meet you," Ika said with a bow.

"Nice to meet you too," was the polite reply from Sakura. "Are all three of you escorts for the Mizukage?"

I winced. _Crap. Thank you, karma, for coming to kick me in the head._ Kasu laughed. "Us? Escorts? I wish! We're only here because our sensei is the Mizukage's bodyguard for this meeting, and she dragged us along. We couldn't be escorts for _the_ Mizukage in a million years!"

He babbled all of this easily, grinning as if he weren't making me sink into the pit of mortification. "Thanks a lot, idiot," I growled, but he didn't hear.

Sakura looked at us in confusion. "Then..you're not actually escorts?"

Ika cocked her head to the side. "Of course not. We could never be escorts..who gave you that idea? We're what you call.._dysfunctional_."

That was all it took. Naruto doubled over, laughing and pointing. My face heated up, and I scowled. "You're just glad that there's one team on this earth worse than yours!" I snapped angrily. He stopped laughing and glared at me. "Hey, watch it! You don't know what we can do!"

"_You_ don't know what _we_ can do either, so quit laughing!"

"I _did_ quit laughing-hey, don't tell me what to do! Besides, _I_ wasn't the one who said you were dis-whatchamacallit!"

_..Valid point._ I was too fired up to just let it go. But I couldn't think of a good argument either. The shouting match withered and died hanging in the air between us.

"Naruto." I twitched. The Uchiha guy was speaking. "Come on," he continued apathetically. "Quit wasting your time on these idiots."

_**Whaaaaattt?!!!! **_

"Who's wasting _whose_ time here, Birdhead?" I yelled furiously. His eye twitched in irritation. "Watch it."

"You think you're so tough, don't you!?"

"Feh. I'm not going to waste any more of my time with you."

"You-!"

A kunai knife came soaring out of nowhere, passing right in front of my face and stopping me short just as I was lunging at him.

A cold feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. _Crap. Crap. __**Craaaaap.**_

Touko strode over, wrenched her weapon out of the wall of Ichiraku with unnecessary violence, and then came back to us.

_I am officially dead meat._

**To be continued**

**A/N: So, what did you think? This was just something I came up with and decided to start on a lark; thanks a million DeathFruitsMaximumSecrets and xxartemisgirlxx for inspiring it!**

**This chapter was really long…please don't expect every chapter to be so long..-.-;**

**Hope you enjoyed! Reviews are cherished, but feel no obligation. Sayo! -SS**


	2. Of Sarcasm and Sleep Deprivation

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; just my OCs.

**A/N: This chapter is dedicated first and foremost to my friend Jime-kun for serving as Kasu's main inspiration. Domo arigato! XD Also to Cherry Blossom Haiku; thanks for reviewing, Alerting and Favoriting! And to KiraUzamaki; thanks for reviewing, Alerting and Favoriting also! And to SnowStorm752; thanks for reviewing and Alerting! Finally, to S.O.S.-girls; thank you for reviewing and Alerting! **_**You guys all rock!!**_** :D**

**Chapter Two: Of Sarcasm and Sleep Deprivation**

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

"Well, I don't wanna rub it in, Saki, but…"

"Don't say it," I warned Kasu.

"You asked for it," Ika finished for him bluntly.

"….You better hightail it now," I muttered, "because as soon as Touko lets me out of this, I'm going to hunt you both down and use you for target practice."

Kasu shrugged apologetically and scampered. Ika followed him, pausing only once to turn and wave at me.

So here I was, sitting in the middle of the woods, in the _dark_ no less, and unable to leave.

After apologizing to Sakura, Jumpsuit Boy and the emo kid, Touko had taken us aside and proceeded to administer the most scorching, livid lecture in shinobi history. I got the brunt of most of it, but Ika and Kasu were singed as well for not stopping me earlier.

Then she walked us deep into the woods, sat me down on a jagged rock, and used some kind of Earth-Style jutsu to make tree roots slither out of the ground and tie me firmly to the rock.

"No fair!" I yelped. "How do you know Earth-Style?!"

"Pet project of mine," she replied, still fuming. And without another word, she had stormed off with steam all but pouring out of her ears. Ika and Kasu hadn't stayed much longer.

And now it was getting very dark.

In this world, there are three things I dislike immensely: ramen (gag), cats (I'm allergic…_really_ allergic), and the dark. I'm not _scared_ of the dark, of course; it just makes me uneasy. I can't see anything; everything's so quiet, and…ugh.

_How long am I going to be out here?_ I wondered, with a twinge of what I refused to acknowledge as fear. _Knowing how long it can take Touko to cool off….I'd say a while._ Great.

"_Katon no Jutsu_!"

_What was __**that**__?!_ I started to panic; I would've jumped three feet in the air if Touko's stupid jutsu hadn't been preventing it. Okay, so I was a little jumpy-sue me! Here I was, stuck to a rock in the middle of a deep forest I knew nothing about, in the freaking _dark_, and now some disembodied voice was yelling weird words. Yeah, no reason to freak out.

Split seconds after the echo of the voice faded, an orange light bloomed from the same direction, burning like a fast flame and fading rapidly.

_Wait a second. Was that a Fire-Style jutsu or something? Why the heck would someone be out here in the middle of the night to train?_ Or maybe just vent their frustration by burning down a bunch of trees, which was also possible.

I wrenched hard at the roots binding me to the stone. The response was an abrupt jolt of pain that streaked through my neck. _Great. Just marvelous. Now on top of it all I've probably pulled a muscle. _

I pulled at the roots one more time, more out of spite than anything else. This time, though, they tightened considerably around my limbs. _Why, Touko,_ I thought unhappily. _Why did you have to learn Earth-Style jutsu so __**well**__?_

Out of nowhere came a shuriken. It whizzed by my face, cutting a thin slice down my cheek. A superficial cut, but I still freaked out.

_Gods curse it, Touko!_ I thought furiously. _Now I'm going to end up dead just because you're too infantile to cool off!_ I whipped my head back and forth like a mad idiot, trying to see my attacker.

The shadowed figure landed in a crouch in front of me. Squinting in the dark, it took me a second to recognize the night prowler.

"_Uchiha_?!" I shrieked.

"…Oh, it's just you."

Yup, definitely Uchiha Sasuke. "Did you throw that shuriken at me?!" I yelped, willing my voice not to squeak.

"No dip, genius."

_That little creep…_ "What gives?!" I snapped furiously, exploiting my infamous ability to switch from startled to angry in two seconds flat. "Why the heck are you out here at this time of night?!"

I could make out his arms folding. "First off, it's only seven P.M. Second, that's none of your business. And third, the same could be said to you-if I cared."

I was seething now. "The only reason I'm out here is because of you, Duckbutt," I growled. "And incidentally, you might want to get it through your skull that everyone else is _not_ inferior to you. One of these days, someone'll come at you hard, and no sensei will be around to stop them." _Oh, please, let that person be me._

"Please," he scoffed. I heard the shuriken being wrenched out of a tree trunk. "I don't care who comes at me; they all end up the same. Most Genin aren't even worth my time."

_What. The. Crap._ "…You have freaking _issues_, you know that?"

He smirked. "Like I care what you think." And with that, the jerk of an emo kid turned and stalked off, leaving me to smolder in the steadily growing darkness.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

My first words to my teacher the next morning were "I hate you."

Sasuke hadn't quit his stupid training or venting or whatever the flip it was until well past two in the morning. Or at least it _felt_ like two. I was going to be a flipping zombie for who-knew-how-long. I am one of those people who _needs_ their sleep-you think I'm a jerk normally? Just _wait_ until you get me tired.

Touko had come at six-thirty sharp the next morning to release me, waking me from my overdue sleep in the process. Hence the "I hate you". The only reason Ika and Kasu remained unscathed was because I was too exhausted to come up with the painful demise they both deserved.

I was barely keeping myself awake as Touko droned on about something or other. Probably something important. I didn't really care at the moment, and was seriously considering propping my eyelids open with toothpicks when she said something that woke me right up.

"…so that's how it's going to be. While the meeting is going on, most of the Jonin will be present, along with their teams. The Genin will stay in one room right outside the meeting room. Got it?"

_Oh, I __**get**__ it. I just wish I didn't!_ "Touko, you're telling me we're going to be holed up in a room with a bunch of strange Genin?!" I exclaimed, horrified.

"If you fail to address me with or as 'sensei' again, I will tear your head off," she replied sweetly. _Jeez…Guess I'm not the only one who got no sleep…_

"And yes," she added, "that is precisely what I was telling you. Well, meeting adjourned!" she concluded with wicked cheeriness. "In about an hour, we can head for the meeting!"

"Huzzah," I uttered. But even the 'huzzah' seemed devoid of its usual snarkiness, like it was exhausted too.

_It's going to be a very long day…._

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

"Bom, bom, bom, bom.."

"…Shut up, Kasu."

"..bom, bom, bom, bom.."

"Shut _up_, Kasu."

"…bom, bom, bom, bom, bom.."

"FOR THE LOVE OF WHATEVER IS HOLY!!!!" I screeched. "And for the sake of my fragile sanity! _Shut the freak up_!!!"

There was a pause in Kasu's pointless and annoying-as-heck antics. Then…

"_Bommm, bommmm, bommmmm_….!!"

"…YOU DIE, KASUKABE! GYAAHH!!" I roared, pouncing at my snickering-while-cowering teammate. I didn't get far, though; Ika withdrew a katana sword calmly from her waistband and promptly hit me in the head with it.

Before I could stretch myself any thinner by engaging in a fight with the bigheaded twit, Touko distracted us by pointing out that we had arrived at the building where the Kage meeting was scheduled to take place. "The Mizukage left early, and is already inside," she explained. "I'm going in through the bodyguard's way. You guys just go through the door; there'll probably be someone there to guide you to…wherever you're supposed to go. See you!"

And she scampered off. I frowned. _There'll "probably" be someone there?_ I thought skeptically. _"Probably" doesn't exactly fill me with confidence._

But for once, she was right. Inside the doors was a timid-looking female Jonin who lead us quietly to a new door. She was a veritable mouse-no, what's quieter than a mouse? I'm serious; the dead made more noise than this woman.

She opened the door and made herself scarce, leaving us to shrug and enter the ominous room.

Inside was a smorgasbord of Genin, lounging about and not really doing anything in particular. Most kept to themselves. One or two were talking animatedly with someone else.

_Dear lord!_ I thought in horror. _So..many…people….I don't like people..and there's __**so many**__…_ Yeah, yeah, I know-"Antisocial much?"

Much? I _invented_ the term antisocial.

Anyway. I quickly scanned the room, noted where Team Weird was, and immediately dragged Ika and Kasu as far away from Them as possible. _Must..avoid…emo..kid…will drain…all my remaining energy…_

I collapsed in a corner and surveyed my surroundings. There were a bunch of ninja from Leaf, of course; one team from Sand, and assorted others from villages I was too sleepy to identify. There didn't seem to be much going on. _Fine with me..sleep time!_

No such luck. Five seconds after that 'Hallelujah' thought occurred to me, the mousy Jonin skittered back into the room. We looked up at her expectantly.

"Um..uh-um…." She stuttered. "Th-the Hokage-s-sama told me to b-bring you all this.." She held up a sheet of paper in a quavering hand. "..f-for something to do…and something about imp-p-proving relations with your f-fellow Genin.." Without warning she threw the paper into the air and ran for it, as if though afraid we might eat her on the spot.

…_Okay, that was…weird…_

A blond Leaf kunoichi in a purple fighting dress went to retrieve the paper. She looked it over, sighed, and walked to the middle of the room.

"Okay, people, listen up! It says here we should go around in a circle-or an amoeba sort of thing, in this case-naming our likes, dislikes and goals. Dreams. Whatever. So…do it!"

She rejoined her team, leaving the rest of us perplexed and a bit caught off-guard by the abrupt instructions. I'm guessing the general line of reasoning was 'It's better than being bored.'

"You started it, blondie," one of the guys muttered. "So you go first."

_I can't believe this. We're about to introduce ourselves to complete strangers by playing a little kid's game. This blows big time._

"Uh, okay," Blondie replied. "I'm Yamanaka Ino. I like flowers and..a certain person.." Her eyes went all sparkly; luckily it passed before I could gag. "I _dislike_ girls with big foreheads who keep trying to steal my boyfriend-to-be," she continued, shooting daggers at Sakura. "My goal is..well.." She giggled girlishly. Nobody pressed.

It went on like that. There was a brown-haired Leaf kunoichi who was obsessed with weapons; a giant-eyebrowed freak show who was obsessed with youth; a pineapple-haired guy who was obsessed with the notion that everything was 'troublesome' or 'a drag'…there wasn't a single normal person in the place.

Naruto liked ramen, disliked 'jerks who think they're better than everyone else', and wanted to become Hokage (as he repeated about ten times). Sakura's intro was pretty similar to Ino's. Sasuke's was the typical emo crap-he liked nothing, disliked a lot of things, and his goal was to kill someone. Figures.

It came to my team. Ika stood and bowed. "I am Yasamaru Ika. I like…knowledge. I dislike rudeness. I don't have any goal other than memorizing Kiri's history at the moment." And she sat back down.

Next was Kasu. "Anka Kasukabe-call me Kasu. I like..umm, I like a lot of things, actually. I dislike people who dislike my friends, and my goal…well, just to become a decent shinobi, I guess."

My turn. _I feel ill.._ "I'm Houshiro Saki. I like..the quiet, I guess. I dislike ramen-" a gasp of protest from Naruto-"and people in general..especially stuck-up arrogant creeps. My goal isn't really any business of yours." (Actually, I didn't have one.)

_Well, __**that**__ was fun._ Now we were sitting around in silence, just as bored as before. _Great plan. Stick a bunch of unfamiliar ninja in a small room together and leave them to wilt in boredom with nothing to do. Really smart._

I settled back into my little corner and started to drift off…only to be jerked from the sleeping/waking limbo by a rough shake from Ika. I glared at her.

"You had better have a good reason for doing that."

"I have two reasons, actually. One: it's very rude to fall asleep in front of people-I read it in a book of etiquette somewhere. And two, I brought friends," she rambled matter-of-factly.

"Wait-_what_? 'Friends'?" I repeated, frowning. _This can mean nothing good. "Friends"? What the heck is she talking about?_

My gaze slipped past her and landed on the three people she had brought. I groaned loudly_. It's a conspiracy. I swear. It's all an elaborate plot to make me lose my flippin' mind. _Team Weird had plopped down, looking confused, on the ground next to us. Ika had obviously dragged them over here.

"I brought them so that you could apologize for being such a jerk yesterday," my soon-to-be-dead teammate explained calmly. "So…go ahead."

_Once I'm done murdering you, would you like me to apologize for that, too?_ I thought, gritting my teeth in frustration.

"Um..Saki-kun doesn't have to apologize for anything; I know firsthand how annoying Naruto can be," Sakura interjected, trying to play peacemaker.

_..Okay, first off, where'd the "-kun" come from? And second, Naruto may have started the ticking-off process, but Sasuke's the one who made me flip my lid..is she blind? She __**must**__ like him…great…_

But whatever; Sakura had just offered me a Get Out Of Jail Free card, and I wasn't about to pass it up. "See? There's nothing wrong here," I snapped at Ika.

"But-she insulted our team!" Naruto exclaimed indignantly. "And she almost beat the crap out of Sasuke!...Then again, that might not be a bad thing…but still!"

"Wise up, loser," Sasuke said sullenly. "The only person who would've gotten the crap beat out of them is _her_." He gestured carelessly at me.

Twitch. "Watch it, Emo Kid," I muttered warningly.

"What, are you deluded enough to think you could have actually put a scratch me?"

Twitch. "I'm warning you, Birdhead, shut up."

"Or you'll do what? Talk me to death?"

The implication that I was all talk was infuriating. "That is _it_, you screwup," I hissed harshly, standing up. I pointed viciously at the door.

"You. Get up. I'm sick of your condescending attitude. Move it."

The Uchiha got the hint I had dropped. He smirked. "Fine." He stood. So did both our teammates. Kasu watched me with concern. The question _"Do you know what you're doing?"_ was written clearly all over his usually carefree face.

The six of us slinked along the wall to the exit, and moved around to the back of the building outside.

_I've had it with this jerk. I'm going to settle things __**now**__!_

**To Be Continued**


	3. Of Sarcasm and Failed Revenge

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…

**A/N: AWA! This story is back from the dead..!! I'm going to have it follow along the Land of the Waves arc, I think-and I am twisting details here and there, but hey, it's fan**_**fiction**_**, right?**

**Thanks loads to anyone reading this. ^_^**

**One last thing: Ichiraku probably wouldn't sell omusubi (rice balls), but please just bear with me..it's all in the name of plot progression!! -.-; Nori is the edible seaweed that wraps the rice balls. ****Okay, I'll quit talking now…**

**Chapter Three: Of Sarcasm and Failed Revenge**

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

Naruto, Sakura, Ika and Kasu backed off to the sidelines. Sasuke and I stood a few feet from each other, glaring fiercely.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" inquired a nervous Sakura.

_Not remotely._

"She has a point..we'll all be in enormous trouble if we're caught," Ika put in tonelessly. "But as long as you're going to do it, at least avoid using Genjutsu or Ninjutsu-either one takes too long, is too loud, and the Jonin will sense the chakra fluctuations more easily. So I'd recommend sticking with Taijutsu."

"Whatever," I said, impatient to vent my recent frustration on a certain bird-headed individual. "Let's get moving, huh?"

There was a teeny-tiny sensible section of my brain that squeaked _"This is most definitely __**not**__ a good idea! Touko is going to kill you!!"_ But I squished the thought. _I am going to pound the pride right out of mister I'm-So-Superior!_

Unfortunately, an important rule of battle had escaped me. The rule was "Know your opponent." I didn't have a clue what the Uchiha excelled at, what kind of jutsus he used, or what special abilities he had. Which, as you can imagine, gave me a pretty obvious disadvantage.

I mean, sure, he knew nothing about my fighting style either, but that wasn't too big a deal-because honestly, I had no particularly impressive moves. I didn't _excel_ at anything.

But I shoved the doubts from my mind and took a stance.

"..Go," Ika said, her voice void entirely of any emotion.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

"You. Are. _Dead_."

_Yeah, I know. You've said it five times in the last ten minutes. So kill me and get it over with; maybe then my face'll quit burning. How's that for a good deal? But no. You leave me alive, just to draw out the torture..you witch of a teacher…_

It was about twelve minutes after our ill-fated fight attempt. The meeting had let out early for some reason, and when Touko and Team Weird's sensei went to retrieve their students, well, there was no one to retrieve. So some rotten little rat snitched on us. _I swear, if I ever find out who it was who told her…_

Touko had come storming out just as we were about to really start beating the crap out of each other. Guess which lucky kunoichi ran into an irate older woman's fist as she was launching an attack? Yeah.

The witch had proceeded to seethe in silence; apparently words to convey the rage failed her. The other sensei-a masked Jonin with silver hair-didn't seem too stressed about it, which was good because Touko was too livid to even remember to apologize. Now _that's_ a bad sign. I was really in for it.

She was currently pacing-stomping, really-back and forth on the would-be battleground, alternating uttering threats and _yelling_ threats at the top of her lungs. That, paired with the fact that my teacher had once more snatched me away from a fight I _really_ wanted to be in-in front of that jerk, no less-left me in a state of quiet humiliation. I was never going to hear the end of this. I could actually feel the _"I told you so"_ waves radiating from my teammates.

At least Team W-fine; Team _7_, as the sensei had introduced them-wasn't around to see the spectacle. One of them had obviously sensed the brewing storm, and the four of them had stealthily escaped.

The now-familiar footstep pattern paused. _Uh-oh. Here it comes._

"..I have something." There was a hint of glee in her words. Touko's really pretty sadistic, once you get to know her.

"All right, Saki. I'm sick of you causing trouble. You're jeopardizing a lot by continuing to participate in these childish fights. Evidently a night in the woods wasn't sufficient to make you snap out of it, so I've devised a new punishment."

_Gulp._ I kept the bored expression on my face, willing myself not to freak out.

A grin slid across her face like a snake. "I wonder if Ichiraku ramen needs any help with the night shift?"

_..She wouldn't._

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

But who was I kidding? _It's Touko. Of __**course**__ she would._

Which was how I found myself standing behind the counter at Ichiraku Ramen that night. I didn't even think the place _had_ a night shift-in fact, I'm pretty sure they didn't. But once Touko offered, why refuse? They'd make more money on the off-chance that someone stopped by, and as a bonus, _they_ wouldn't be the ones standing out there all night.

So she'd found a way to exploit my dislike of ramen _and_ the dark (and it did get dark pretty fast there) at once. _I hate my teacher._

The owner's daughter, Ayame, had already made a few dozen bowls beforehand (my guess is they didn't want to tarnish their reputation by having an amateur make the food). So there I stood, holding my breath in order to avoid throwing up, and muttering to myself. I probably looked deranged.

At least I had dinner. Touko had thrown some food at me before leaving-rice and some natto. I had scarfed down the rice almost immediately, saving the sweet stuff for a midnight snack.

One or two older men had stopped in for a bowl early in the shift. But that was almost forty minutes ago, and it had been crickets-in-the-background silent around the place since. If this kept up, maybe I could sneak a few hours of sleep behind the counter…

The thought sounded more appealing every second.

It was about 7:30 when the next customers came. I just turned around and there they were. I almost jumped out of my skin.

"What the-you couldn't possibly _warn_ me before popping out of nowhere, huh?!" I snapped.

"Well maybe if you trained a little more, you'd be able to sense us coming."

That arrogant voice..Wait a..I blinked. I'd been too startled to really notice who I was snapping at. Now that it registered, I felt even more ill. _Oh great. Just great._

"What are _you_ doing here?" I groaned at Team 7.

"Oh-hello, Saki-kun! I didn't know you worked at Ichiraku," Sakura remarked.

"Yeah!" Naruto added. "I thought you hated ramen!" He winced, as if though pained by having to use the words "ramen" and "hate" in the same sentence.

I scowled. "Don't ask. What can I get you?" Now I had to play waitress to three people I really would rather _not_ deal with ever again. Shredding my throwing arm with a cheese grater would be less painful.

They ordered. A regular bowl for Sakura, miso ramen for Naruto, and omusubi for the emo kid. I got some of Ayame's pre-made bowls out from under the counter, along with some of the omusubi she had made "just in case". _Guess these three are regular customers…_

But as I was bending over, something occurred to me. _Hmm…it'd be a very not-nice thing to do…therefore, I must do it. _Insert evil laugh here.

I had an evil and excellent idea, and about ten more seconds to execute it. _Think, Saki…what food would an emo kid dislike? What do you have on hand? Hmm..Well, he's here, so he can't exactly loathe ramen. What have we got?? Umm…noodles, pork for putting on the noodles, tomatoes for putting on the noodles..a load of other things to put on the noodles…agh, think!!_

_Wait..what about natto?_ I still had some left over, after all. _I mean, he's the kind of guy with 'sour' written all over him, so wouldn't it stand to reason that he'd dislike sweet things?_ Admittedly it wasn't much of a basis, but what did I have to lose? Only a few bites of natto, which I did like, but would gladly sacrifice to get back at the creep I was being forced to serve here.

Quickly I snatched my dinner bag from the floor, ignoring a whisper from above of "What's taking so long?", and started squishing the natto into paste as fast as I could. I lifted the nori wrapping, jammed the natto..paste…goo under it, and covering it back up with the seaweed. I only managed to get it under the nori of one riceball; if I took any longer they'd suspect something was up.

The smile on my face as I rose up again wasn't even forced. Hopefully, my sacrifice of the glorious sweet stuff wouldn't be in vain.

Naruto, in the meantime, had already finished his bowl of ramen. The bowl was practically licked clean. "Did you eat it," I inquired in disbelief, "or did you just inhale it?"

He shrugged and grinned, then turned his attention to Sasuke. "Hey, teme, can I eat one of those?"

…_I don't believe it! He's still hungry!_

"Pleasepleaseplease?"

Obviously impatient to stop his teammate's whining, the Uchiha rolled his eyes. "Whatever, dobe."

The insult didn't faze the blond as he eagerly grabbed a rice ball off the plate and jammed it into his face. _Dear lord,_ I thought, making a face. _Ever hear of chewing?_

A confused look darted across his face. "Since when did you like natto, Sasuke?"

I felt my eyes widen. _You have got to be kidding me…_

"I don't," was the reply. "I hate it."

"Then why," Naruto inquired, "is there a great glob of natto in your riceball?"

"…." _Naruto,_ I thought in horror, _you idiot! You __**would**__ pick that one, wouldn't you? Gahh!_

"I didn't order it," the dark-haired kid said with deliberation. "So.."

He turned, slowly, to shoot eye-daggers at me.

_Perfect…I better think up an excuse fast.._

"What, you think _I_ did it?" I asked, putting on a show of irritation. "Yeah, right. Ayame made all the food beforehand; I didn't touch it. They don't serve natto here anyway. Besides, how the heck would I know Birdhead hated it?" I folded my arms.

"She has a point," Sakura said hesitantly. "And…after all, Sasuke-kun didn't eat it, so there's no harm done, right?"

Apparently the others agreed with this assessment, because they let it go. They didn't need to jump all over me anyway-I already knew I would be kicking myself for the failed revenge attempt all night.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

Touko didn't bother to come for me the next morning, so I finally got some sleep, as Team 7 was the last group of customers that night. Ayame was the one who woke me up and thanked me for running the night shift (yeah..like I had a choice).

Freedom. Thank God. I had almost forgotten what ramen-free air tasted like.

I hunted my team down and resisted the urge to hit one of them over the head with a nice heavy object. The urge got a lot harder to ignore when Touko looked up with this smug look on her face and asked, "Have you learned your lesson, Saki?" Like I was some unruly academy student she'd had to punish.

_The only thing I learned over there was that ramen looks even more disgusting after you've been looking at it for however many hours straight._ I didn't say it.

"Well, I have something to put you in an even better mood," she continued. I shot her a suspicious glare. Hadn't she pushed me enough?

"Ika, would you like to do the honors?"

Ika stood up and looked at me with her usual distinct lack of expression. "One of Konohagakure's newer Genin cells is going on their first C-rank mission today," she recited. I raised an eyebrow. New Genin on a _C_-rank mission? We hadn't been allowed to go on anything higher than D-rank until almost five months after graduation.

More importantly, what did that have to do with us?

Unfortunately, I was about to find out.

"In order to further improve relations with Konoha's Hokage, and 'teach us the meaning of teamwork and cooperation'," Ika continued, "Touko-sensei has volunteered us to go along and help out with the mission."

"Isn't it awesome?!" Kasu exclaimed happily. "We're going to help out Team Seven on a C-rank mission!!"

Wait-_did he just say Team Seven?!_

**To Be Continued**

**A/N: Hallelujah…writer's block is finally gone. Although I am falling back into the abyss that is 'writing two serials at once'…oh well.**


	4. Of Sarcasm and Utter Chaos

Disclaimer: I own my OCs; that is it.

**Chapter Four: Of Sarcasm and Utter Chaos**

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

It's essentially a law, that shinobi must not show their emotions. I usually attempted to follow that rule, mostly on missions. But the words "Team Seven" out of Kasu's mouth were enough to blast my self-control into a million tiny little pieces.

"WHAT?!!" I squawked, sounding like a deranged bird and unable to care. Oh, lord-bird. Which made me think of the Emo Kid. Which reminded me-horribly-that I was going to be stuck on a mission with him, and both of our teammates.

_**It's a nightmare!!!**_

"Which part was unclear to you?" Touko inquired in that sickly sweet voice of hers.

"You volunteered us…for a mission….with _Team Seven_?" I croaked. "Without even asking us?!" I knew Touko was a kiss-up, especially to her superiors, but this was a new low.

"I asked," she responded unconcernedly. "Ika and Kasu said yes." I looked to my teammates in horror. Kasu grinned apologetically and Ika shrugged. "Even if we asked you, you'd still be outvoted by three to one," she pointed out.

"..You know what?" I decided, trying not to sound too hysterical. "It's official. I hate you all."

"Oh, get over yourself, Saki," Touko snapped. "Not everything is going to go your way. I'm tired of your temper tantrums-you've always acted like a spoiled child, but you will _not_ embarrass me on this mission. Grow up."

She stalked away, probably to blow off some steam. I stood behind, feeling like a little girl who'd just been lectured by her mother.

I avoided Ika and Kasu's stares and retreated to the forest to train. And think.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

"_Water Style: Mizu Hebi no Jutsu!_"

The watery snake slid from my hands and twisted around a tree. Great-except that it was three trees to the right of the one I had been aiming for. _Note to self: work on aim._

I sighed and released the jutsu; the stream of water I had been trying to perfect fell limply to the ground and was obliterated with a splash.

I leaned back against a tree and allowed my thoughts to stray towards Touko's angry lecture. It wasn't like she never lost her cool; as far as I knew, she was pretty temperamental. But rarely had I seen her looking so _serious _about being angry.

"_You've always acted like a spoiled child.."_ My face burned. Had I really? I knew I acted immature sometimes-maybe a lot of the time-but I wasn't _that _bad.

Was I?

I crumpled to the ground and stared blankly at a decimated tree trunk. I stayed in that position for what felt like a long time, thinking it over.

…_All right,_ I decided reluctantly. _Even though it may just kill me, I will make an attempt to get along with Team Seven and the Emo Kid._ If I had been saying the words aloud, I probably would've choked on them.

I was going to make an effort to cooperate. Or at least not murder the birdhead in his sleep.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

Less than an hour later, the four of us met up at the gates of Konoha. Touko pretended nothing had happened, but I still found myself incapable of looking her in the eye.

Team Seven showed up late. There they were, the Circus Trio and their sensei, and they had an old man in tow. Well, not as old as the Hokage, say, but still old. He was bearded and bespectacled and wore a weird, pointed straw hat. He also wore a look of perpetual grumpiness. _Finally,_ I thought, _someone who might understand me._

"Well, it looks like we're all here," the Team Seven sensei stated. "I'm Hatake Kakashi, and this is my cell, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, and Uzumaki Naruto. This is Tazuna-san, whom we will be escorting to his homeland-the Village Hidden in the Waves. He is building an important bridge there."

_Well, isn't __**that **__descriptive._ I assumed Touko had gotten a more detailed briefing beforehand.

"Animizu Touko, Yasamaru Ika, Anka Kasukabe, and Houshiro Sakima," Touko replied formally. "The Genin understand the mission." _Uh, we do?_ Touko, as it turned out, was staying behind-as an escort of the Mizukage, she couldn't just go gallivanting off.

"Let's be off then," Kakashi said, with an odd sort of cheerfulness in his tone.

We started walking. I tried to put as much distance between myself and the Uchiha as possible, to make this easier for both of us.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura spoke up. "Wave Village doesn't have shinobi, right?"

"Correct," he replied. "Certain villages don't really need them. We shouldn't come into contact with any foreign ninja on this mission, anyway." Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw a strange look on Tazuna's face-like guilt. But it was gone in seconds, and I dismissed it.

Not so easily ignored was the weird noise that came from behind us seconds later. A squelching sound, like water or something. _What the-_ I turned around and almost yelled.

Out of a puddle on the ground was rising a cloaked shinobi. I didn't even get a good look at him before he jumped into the air. A second shinobi pounced from behind the first one. Both had thin chains running out their sleeves; between the two of them, the wrapped the chains firmly around Kakashi and pulled. Hard.

"One down," one of them murmured.

Blood flew everywhere as the silver-haired Jonin was literally ripped to shreds.

"Two down," said a voice behind me. I felt breath on my neck and my blood went cold.

I grabbed a kunai just as the chains came into my line of vision. _Too fast!_ I went for another kunai to attempt a block, despite my brain screaming that there was _no way_ I could possibly get it in time, and-

Shuriken throwing stars came zooming out of nowhere and intercepted the chains, pinning them to a nearby tree. A black blur jumped overhead and tossed a kunai directly through the shuriken's hole, keeping the chains firmly in place.

Aforementioned black blur put his hands down on the contraptions the two ninja wore over their hands, and kicked out viciously, knocking down both of them in one go. The chains broke, disconnected from the ninja.

I didn't have time to mourn my pride, which had been shattered at the fact that the Uchiha had just saved my life. Both enemy shinobi recovered quickly, and split up. One went after Naruto, who managed to dodge without anything worse than a scratch on his hand; the other headed for Tazuna. Sakura jumped in front of the bridge-builder with a kunai at the ready, but the ninja had another tricked-out glove-this one had bladelike claws coming out of it. No kunai would be able to block _that _sucker.

I slid sideways on the ground and tried to trip him up; it didn't work as well as I'd hoped, but it bought the Uchiha time to get in front of Sakura and do-_what _was he planning on doing?! But it didn't matter, because the ninja was yanked back by none other than Kakashi.

_Huh!? What's that supposed to be-Sew Myself Back Together no Jutsu?!_ I looked back at where the pieces of his severed body had been, and saw only chopped logs-he'd used a Substitution Jutsu.

I realized I now had time to breathe, and picked myself up off the ground with as much dignity as I retained. That is, not much.

"You alright, scaredy-cat?"

I looked up so fast I almost dislocated my neck, but I still couldn't tell if the Uchiha's snarky comment had been directed at me or Naruto. I scowled. _Jerk…I could've taken those ninja..I'll never hear the end of this. _I directed my glare at a shaken Kasu and calm Ika, silently daring them to say anything at all.

_Go ahead. Bait me. Make my freakin' day._

I had the sinking feeling that they would take me up on that offer later.

**To Be Continued**


	5. Of Sarcasm and Very Cold Water

Disclaimer: I own my OCs, and that's it.

**A/N: Thank you Volcanic-Monsoon for Favoriting. Oh, and thanks loads to Cherry Blossom Haiku for reviewing!! ^_^**

**I'm pretty sure I **_**want**_** to make this a onesided SasuOC…I'm just dithering on how th'heck to do it..**

**Well, anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

**Chapter Five: Of Sarcasm and Very Cold Water **

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

So, _that_ was confusing. Who the heck were those ninja, and more importantly, why had they attacked us? They seemed more powerful than your average thugs just looking for a fight.

As if on cue, all of us stepped forward to examine the shinobi, whom Kakashi had tied up. I blinked. They wore the same forehead protectors as me and my team.

I scowled and prodded one of them with my foot. "Great, thanks a lot," I grumbled. "Getting yourself beaten so easily..you make Kiri look bad, you know that?" Sheesh. I say, if you're going to be an idiot, at least do it _well_.

"That was a stupid thing to say," Ika stated coolly. "Keep saying things like that, in a way that implies you know them, and you'll make it look like we were in on that attack." I actually felt my eye twitch. "Idiot," I replied irritably. "Nobody but you would take it that way."

One of the Mist ninja spoke to Kakashi, thus sparing me from Ika's response. "How did you know we were going to attack?" he asked in a cold, slimy voice. "The puddle," Kakashi replied lightly. "It hasn't rained for days. Kind of suspicious."

"If you knew," Tazuna growled, "then why did you let the brats fight?"

"To see who these shinobi were after," the silver-haired Jonin responded with a frown. "And from the looks of it, they were after you. We weren't told that foreign ninja would be after you; our mission was simply to protect you from thieves or gangs-simple protection until you completed your bridge. This incident has upped the mission level to B-rank, at least."

"Wait a second!" I yelped. "So this guy lied to us?!"

"Um, Saki-" "Shut it, Kasu." I rounded on Tazuna, releasing a furious rant. "What's the deal?! How the hell could you have neglected to mention that you had shinobi after you?! We could've died back there, for crying out loud! You didn't think this-" I gestured at the Mist nin- "was worth m-mm!"

Kasu slapped his hand over my mouth. It took every ounce of my self-control not to bite him. "Sorry," he apologized sheepishly, bowing his head to Tazuna and Kakashi. To me, he whispered, "Are you insane?! If this sensei reports back to the Hokage or somebody that a Genin started railing at his client, it could really screw things up for Touko-sensei!"

"It might also damage relations between Kirigakure and Konohagakure," Ika added, sounding like a robot as usual.

I glared at the both of them, but bit my tongue. Kasu removed his hand cautiously.

"As I was saying," Kakashi drawled, "we are now operating outside of our original duties. It causes numerous problems when you lie about the mission, Tazuna-san."

The old man looked at the ground. _Good_, I thought bitterly. _You should feel guilty, you lying jerk.._Why would he lie about something this important?! We had almost gotten ourselves killed to protect him, when we weren't supposed to be involved in a B-rank mission in the first place.

Plus, I now owed the Uchiha one, which was a position I absolutely loathed being in. And I wouldn't have been in it if this guy had just been straight with everybody.

"These..these ninja," Tazuna started hesitantly. "They were probably hired by Gato."

"Gato? Who's Gato?" I asked. Didn't he invent some kind of ice cream or something?

Unsurprisingly, it was Ika who answered, in a low voice. "Owner of a large shipping company," she informed me. "Very wealthy. Trades illegal items in addition to his regular job. Rumors abound that he uses hired ninja and gangs to take over small areas."

_..Terrific._ How the heck did she know all this crap about people?

"He has a monopoly on all trade and traffic in the Village Hidden in the Waves. But he fears the completion of the bridge, because it will give us a chance to run our own affairs. Our village is very poor; I could never afford to pay for a B-rank mission. If you leave me now, I will definitely be killed."

He paused, then slapped a huge, obviously fake grin on his face. "But hey, it's not your problem! Don't worry about it-after all, if I'm killed, my little 10-year-old grandson will only cry for a few days! Oh, and my poor daughter will live her life hating shinobi until the day she dies, but it's nothing you need to worry about!!"

I almost groaned. _Could you __**possibly **__lay it on any thicker?!_

But Kakashi caved.

Which was how we found ourselves crammed into a small boat rowed by Tazuna's friend, rowing through a thick fog towards the village.

"There's the bridge," Tazuna's friend pointed out after a few hours. "Wave Village is at its base." A huge, half-finished 'spectacle of engineering', as Touko would say, loomed above us, casting one heck of a shadow. The sheer size of the thing made me feel uncomfortable, so I twisted around and look back. And noticed something.

"Uh, 'scuse me," I muttered, poking the rower in the arm. "This boat, uh, has a motor."

He gave me the universal "No dip, genius" look, and I flushed. "Well, duh, you knew that, but..why aren't you using it, exactly?"

"We'd be in enormous trouble if Gato found out," he replied ominously.

_Oh, right,_ I thought sarcastically_. Scary Ice Cream Man. Jeez. Is he really that terrifying?!_

The waves got rougher as we neared land (yeah, yeah, waves, Wave Village, I get it). The boat was rocked less-than-gently. I swallowed hard, wondering if it was possible to _feel _yourself turning green. Because I was pretty sure I was doing just that.

_Ugh…stupid waves…quit knocking us around already…_

"You look like you're gonna be sick," Kasu commented, looking concerned. I shook my head, fearing the consequences of opening my mouth. He didn't get my subtle _Back Off_ hint, and opted for reaching out and feeling my forehead. I wrenched myself backwards. Not a good idea, in case anyone is wondering.

My sudden shifting of weight rocked the boat hard, enough to put it in danger of tipping over, in which case I would become an interrogator solely for the purpose of testing torture methods on Kasu. Luckily, we all stayed more or less right-side up. Naruto glared at me; his face wasn't looking the most natural color either.

My stomach felt God-awful. _Make it stop…just make the damn rocking stop…_

"Are you _sure_ you're okay?" Kasu unwisely pressed. I foolishly decided to chew him out, but unfortunately forgot that doing so would mean having to open my mouth. On top of that, the boat hit a particularly big wave at that moment, sending us veering up and sideways again. _Oh, sh-_

I flung myself to the side of the boat with such force that I almost went over the edge, and threw up what felt like every single one of my guts.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

"Your..fault," I rasped at Kasu after my body could no longer find anything else to push up. "Hate..you..so..much."

I had a horrible taste embedded firmly into my taste buds, and on top of that I was extremely humiliated.

_Hate you, Kasu. Hate you, hate you, hate you…_

Sakura was giving me a sympathetic look, which made me want to sink into the ground. Except, oh yeah, there _was_ no ground. We were still in the middle of flipping water. _Curse Kasu. Curse this stinking boat. Curse the Wave Village and all its..__**waves**__! Argh!_

I almost felt the "Tch" before I heard it. I turned in the direction of the noise and bit my lip to avoid opening my mouth and saying something…_unpleasant_. Apparently the dratted emo kid wasn't going along with my plan for us to stay out of each other's way. He was watching me with evident distaste.

"Pitiful," he muttered under his breath.

"…" Less than a day, one incident, and one word. That was all it took to make me say 'Screw diplomacy, I am _so_ going to kill this guy.'

How sad.

I launched myself across the boat (a distance of about two feet at the most) with arms outstretched and oh-so-willing to strangle him. My hands morphed into fists and I drove them at the target with vehemence.

Rule two of Touko's method: Never attack in anger. Emotion is a sign of desperation, and it can end fights before they even begin. You basically show your entire hand to your opponent by attacking emotionally-so she says, anyway.

And in this case, it happened to be correct. He blocked my attack easily. I heard somebody sigh, and Sakura yelped. "Saki-kun! What are you doing?!"

I ignored her and reared back for another attack. I saw Ika and Kasu out of the corner of my eye, jumping to restrain my P.O.'d self, and hurried the attack. I suppose Birdhead figured I would back off, or that my teammates would get there first, but either way, his block wasn't as strong the second time.

Which, go figure, turned out to be a bad thing for me as well as him.

We both went right over the side of the boat.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

For the record, the water near Wave Village is very, very, _very_ cold.

And choppy.

Basically, not the type of water you want to fall into (is there a _good_ type of water to fall into?).

I hit the water and felt like I had immediately frozen. No, seriously. Frozen. Like a fish stick. That's how freaking _cold_ it was. I came to my (scattered) senses and dragged myself up. Air. _Yay._ Then another (um, _freezing_) wave crashed over me and I went under again.

_Wonderful._ On top of every other dang thing, I was going to catch something. Then I'd pass it on to everybody else, and we'd all spend a week crowded in some motel, sneezing and.. _Oh, for God's sake, Saki, get a grip! _I swam up again, briefly broke the surface, and was again pushed back down by a wave.

_Well, this is fun. Wonder how Duckbutt's holding up?_ At the thought of Mr. High-And-Mighty being kept down by something as insignificant as waves, I couldn't stop myself from snickering. Bad idea. I inhaled water and started choking, thereby inhaling even _more _water. _Shoot._ I swam up one more time, and was finally dragged back onto the swaying boat by my teammates.

"Took you long enough," I managed between coughs.

"You threw yourself over," Kasu pointed out. "If we wanted to, we could've left you to drown."

Yeah, right. Annoying as I may be, I knew they would never do something like that. Well, Kasu wouldn't, at least.

The palm of a hand came into angry contact with the back of my head. I turned around, rubbing the newly sore spot, and attempted to find the energy to send a Death Glare towards an angry-looking Sakura. I'm pretty sure I failed.

"What was _that_?!" she demanded. "Why did you attack Sasuke-kun? What were you thinking?!"

I glanced behind her to see a thoroughly soaked and irritable-looking Uchiha, who was glaring at nothing. _Score. One small victory for me._ I smirked, which only annoyed Sakura further. "What is _wrong_ with you?" she snapped. "What did Sasuke-kun ever do to you?"

_Huh?! You can't possibly be expecting a real answer to that question._ I mean, really, was it not painfully obvious? He was stuck-up, arrogant, conceited, annoying, self-centered, and generally an all-around jerk. He thought he was _so_ much better than everyone else. Well, I wasn't about to bow down to the Great Uchiha the way she apparently wanted me to!

I said nothing. (Yes, that was a first.)

"Saki," Kakashi broke in. "Remember that we are on a mission, and a higher-ranked one than anticipated. We need to get along-or at the very least not kill each other-in order to complete it successfully. If you can't handle Sasuke, tell me right now and I'll send for Touko and have her come and get you."

My face burned-no, it scorched. Painfully. Touko would kill me if Kakashi was forced to summon her, and I would also be disgraced. I had planned on using this mission to prove that I wasn't some bratty kid. So far, I was failing that objective miserably.

I couldn't go back. I had started a mission, and as a shinobi it was my duty to finish it.

I shook my head and averted everyone's gaze. Kakashi turned away-and so, it seemed, did everyone else for the time being.

**To Be Continued**


	6. Of Eyeballs and Gender Confusion

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. A certain shonen-ai pairing would be undoubtedly _canon_ if I did. XD

**A/N: Thanks a million to KiraUzamaki for reviewing, Hikari-letal-blood for reviewing and Alerting, and puretrickster for Favoriting!! Domo arigato!!**

**Summarizing will occur here (and probably later), so I don't bore you to death with descriptions of fights that you've already read. Plus, I don't feel like writing all the details of the dang scenes. Hope nobody minds.**

**Chapter Six: Of Eyeballs and Gender Confusion**

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

We reached land with a distinct lack of any further incidents.

Tazuna's friend all but kicked us off his boat and rowed away quicker than was necessary. We started walking down a tree-bordered path towards the actual village. I observed the leafy greenness, wondering if Mist was the only village on the face of the planet that _didn't_ have trees everywhere you looked.

Naruto was looking back and forth rapidly, as if he had seen an attacker. Or was looking for one. Just as I noticed this, he suddenly whipped out a shuriken and flung it into a nearby bush, shouting, "_There!!_"

We all jumped; I reached for a kunai knife, but then it occurred to us that there had been no response of any kind to the blond's attack. No yell of pain, no rustling of the bushes, no nothing. Naruto attempted to look cool and shrugged it off, saying, "Oh, must've been a rat."

I was so very tempted to punch him in the face for freaking everybody out like that, but I kept reminding myself: _Be more mature…more mature…_

Minutes later, I thought I heard a rustling sound coming from a different bush. I had a better reaction time, thanks to Naruto's scare putting me on guard. Apparently he heard it too, because we both simultaneously threw weapons into the bush.

Fortunately, I wasn't just being paranoid-we had hit something. Unfortunately, that something was a rabbit.

_Oh, __**crap**__…poor bunny.._ I gently removed my now-bloody kunai and backed off to clean it, feeling ill all over again. And somewhat embarrassed. _Saki, the Great Slayer of Rabbits…yeah, that'll go over well._

"Everyone, get down _now_!" Kakashi yelled.

I hit the deck and glanced up just in time to see a huge blade fly right through where our heads had just been. The-sword?-embedded itself into a tree, where it was jumped on by a man. He had dark hair that had been roughly cut short, bandages wrapped around the bottom half of his face, and eyes like ice. A forehead protector was tied sideways around his head, and I didn't need to see the slashed mark it bore in order to know who he was. Kasu and Ika had undoubtedly recognized him as well.

"If it isn't Mist's notorious missing nin," Kakashi observed casually. "Momochi Zabuza."

I swallowed._ Knew it. _A few feet away, my teammates were looking apprehensive. I didn't blame them. This guy was infamous in Kiri. A bloody, living legend.

"Everyone step back," Kakashi ordered. "This guy's on a whole new level. Against him, it'll be very difficult if I don't use this.." He started to lift up the side of his forehead protector, which always obscured his left eye. _Use __**what**__? Your eyeball? _I thought. _Are you going to try and scare him off with the Bloodshot Eye of Death or something??_

"You appear to be Kakashi of the Sharingan, the Copycat Ninja." Zabuza delivered Kakashi's titles in a chill-inducing tone. Feeling more than a little bit clueless, I wondered what the Sharingan was. The Uchiha had looked shocked when he heard it. "Sorry," Zabuza continued, "but the old man is mine."

I took a step sideways, so that defending Tazuna would be easier if Zabuza attempted a direct attack. But the move was out of instinct only-I knew it would do no good. If Zabuza wanted to get to Tazuna and kill him, he would probably do so. I would be less than powerless to stop him. But it was my job to try anyway.

"Protect Tazuna-san," Kakashi told us. "Do not leave your positions. I'll take care of Zabuza." He finished revealing his eye, which had a scar running through it-a sword wound, it looked like. I couldn't make out the details at my distance, but I knew that eye was different. It had gone red, and there were bits of black as well. _That's..more than bloodshot_, I thought. _That's __**extremely**__ bloodshot. _

But how the heck was an eye in some serious need of eye drops going to help us?

"Ah, the famous Sharingan already? I'm honored," Zabuza commented.

_That's the Sharingan?_ I had heard of powerful ocular jutsus before, but they were rare-usually Kekkai Genkais. Obviously this was one, but why did Kakashi have it in only one eye? That wasn't normal, was it? And more importantly, what did it do?

"What the hell is the Sharingan!?" Naruto exclaimed. My thoughts exactly.

"It's an ocular jutsu that allows you to 'read' and therefore defeat any Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, or Taijutsu your opponent uses," the Emo Kid informed him, sounding a bit shaken. "But it also has the ability to copy an opponent's moves."

"It's usually a Kekkai Genkai," Ika added. "A technique passed down in-and only in-the prestigious Uchiha clan."

The Emo Kid twitched but did not elaborate. Neither did Ika. I frowned. "An _Uchiha_ technique? Then why does Kakashi have it?" Everyone's eyes flew to Kakashi, but he offered no answer.

"Enough talking," Zabuza ordered. "I have to kill that old man. But it seems, Kakashi..I'll have to kill you first." He kicked off from his sword-perch at lightning speed, and hit the water. Uh, sorry, make that, _stood on top_ of the water. "Hidden Mist Jutsu," he stated, making a hand sign. And then he vanished.

No-seriously. As in, _poof_, gone.

"As a former member of Kirigakure's ANBU force, Zabuza is an expert on quick and silent killing. And I can't use the Sharingan perfectly, so you all need to be careful," Kakashi warned.

"This mist is getting thicker!!" Naruto yelled out the obvious; the fog had been thickening ever since Zabuza had vanished. We could barely see five inches in front of ourselves anymore; if we attacked, we were more likely to kill a teammate than the enemy.

"_Eight choices_." A cold, calm voice; the source indisputable but invisible. The creep was really enjoying himself. "_Liver..lungs..spine…clavical vein..neck vein..brain…kidneys…heart. Which should I go for first_?" I shivered involuntarily. _He's going to kill us. He's going to kill us right here and now, and we won't even realize we're dead._ I braced myself for the feel of cold, sharp metal on any one of the aforementioned vital spots.

Kakashi's hands moved abruptly. He was signing. _What for?_ I thought, irritated that he was wasting his time and chakra. _It's not like he can see well enough to aim anything.._ But the thought was cut off as a new feeling shoved away the irritation. Something new, some intensity was radiating from Kakashi, filling the air with stiflingly heavy apprehension. Danger. A warning.

I was terrified._ I'm going to be killed_, I thought, _and not even by Zabuza. Kakashi will strike me down where I stand if I so much as twitch._ It was his fighting intensity, the silent power of a Jonin that could crush weak opponents without the shinobi having to lift a finger. This was the aura of a true death-dealer, and it was seriously scary.

From the looks on the faces of everyone around me, they were feeling the same way. Even the Uchiha had fear written plainly on his face-a sight I would have relished if I wasn't so frickin' _scared_.

"Sasuke, relax." I blinked, feeling the death-aura lighten by the smallest fraction at Kakashi's calm tone. "Don't worry. I will protect you all with my life." The Uchiha was blushing-probably embarrassed that his sensei had singled him out for comforting. I couldn't help smirking. _Oh, the blackmail opportunities..if only I had a camera.._

Kakashi turned slightly, so that we could see his face, and smiled. "I will never let my comrades die," he declared cheerily. Even though the words were most likely meant for his own team, they sure as heck made me feel better as well.

"_We will see about that_."

Movement behind me. I turned and felt my eyes almost fall out of my head. Zabuza had reappeared-right between Tazuna and all of us. He was inside of our defense formation. _Ahh!! Bad, bad, __**very very bad**__!!!_

Kakashi came out of nowhere, knocking down the Genin who couldn't get out of the way fast enough (read: me, Naruto, and Kasu), and delivering a hard blow to Zabuza's stomach. Or at least a water clone that looked exactly like Zabuza. The real (?) thing pounced from behind, slicing right through Kakashi's body-which promptly disintegrated into a watery puddle. The real (again, ?) Kakashi was behind Zabuza, and held a kunai to his throat.

"It's over," the Jonin stated.

And the rogue ninja began to laugh.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

Explaining the whole fight (which I'm still not sure I get, myself) would take forever, so I'll more-or-less summarize.

Turned out the Zabuza that Kakashi had at his mercy wasn't the real one either (shocker). An 'epic' battle ensued, yada yada.

Zabuza trapped Kakashi in a Water Prison jutsu (which in itself showed how qualified the guy used to be-Water Prisons by law can only be attempted by higher-ranked shinobi in Kiri) and sent a clone at us Genin. Kakashi gave the (panicked, I might add) order to make ourselves scarce, but the clone had already gotten to Naruto, who did eventually back off.

Somehow, Zabuza decided to launch into this long-winded explanation of why we should fear him and blah-blah-blah. He and Kakashi basically gave us a narration of his past-more specifically, the infamous Graduation Exam. Ages ago in Mist, the only way to graduate was to win a fight to the death with a fellow student. Those who survived became shinobi. As a soon-to-graduate student, Zabuza took it a step further-he slaughtered every single one of the other students. The death-match exams were discontinued, giving Zabuza his first claim to fame.

But that's all ancient history. It kinda felt good to know something that obviously shocked the Leaf nin-Academy teachers in Kiri make a point of jamming the names of every infamous Mist shinobi into our heads. It's almost like they're proud of our bloody history or something.

But anyway. Zabuza (well, technically, his clone) instantly jumped into attack mode after the history lesson was done, going after the Uchiha and pounding him until blood came out of his mouth. I twitched.

_Hmph. Where's all your 'superior skill' now?_

(Before you go all 'She's a heartless witch' on me, let me say in my defense that I didn't think he'd die. No way-the way _he_ carried on? Besides, there were five other Genin present. So yeah, he'd be fine. Not that I care, but still.)

Naruto set a bunch of Shadow Clones on him, but they were thrown off. He tossed Sasuke a Windmill Shuriken (man, that thing was cool), which the Emo Kid promptly threw at Zabuza-the real one. Zabuza dodged it only to see a second one in its shadow, and when he dodged _that_ one, it turned out to be a shape-changed Naruto. (Yeah, I'm just as confused as you are.)

The blond flung a kunai at Zabuza and forced him to dodge yet again, meaning he had to stop casting the Water Prison jutsu, and Kakashi got back in the game. Zabuza attacked him with a Water Dragon, but Kakashi copied it with the Sharingan and both Dragons collapsed. The Leaf Jonin finally threw Zabuza back with a gigantic wave of water.

And then two senbon needles came flying out of nowhere and pierced Zabuza right through the neck.

"He's dead," a moderately cheery-sounding and in _no_ way familiar voice announced.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

I looked up in disbelief-_He died that fast?_-to see a short shinobi in green fighting garb. The voice was disconcerting-I couldn't tell if it was male or female-but it sounded like a kid's voice. The ninja had black hair and wore a white and red mask which, upon closer inspection, turned out to have Kiri's symbol on it.

_Anbu?_ I wondered apprehensively, looking at the mask. Mist's mark had no slash through it, so it didn't look like this kid was rogue. But which was easier to believe-a kid who was a Missing Nin without a cut forehead protector, or a kid who was in the Anbu? Neither one sounded all that believable.

Kakashin approached Zabuza's fallen body and examined it, checking for a pulse. Silence. _Since he isn't freaking out and telling us to head for the hills, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say..Zabuza's dead._

The thought alone was so odd I couldn't bring myself to voice it. Zabuza, the Demon of the Mist, Kiri's most infamous rogue ninja, had been brought down in two seconds by a kid and some knitting needles?! Wrong. So very wrong.

"Thank you very much. I have long waited for an opportunity to kill Zabuza," the kid said lightly, bowing his head briefly. _Ah. So he..er, she…um, __**it**_ (well, c'mon, I couldn't tell!) _is Anbu. But it's just a kid! What the heck?!_

"What the hell!" Naruto shouted, pointing a furious finger at the Anbu kid. "Who are you?!"

Ika raised a pale eyebrow. "The boy-" Yay, _somebody_ knew the kid's gender! "-has been hunting Zabuza, wears a Mist mark, is apparently Anbu, and has just defeated our enemy. What else is necessary to know?"

I smirked. Ika's irritating know-it-all personality can be fun when she turns it on other people.

The Anbu boy teleported himself down beside the body of the Missing Nin. "I must now dispose of the body," he murmured. "Farewell." And then he was gone.

I glanced sideways at Kasu, who was grinning like a fool.

"Well," he said in a disgustingly cheerful tone, "that was _extremely_ weird!"

Tch. Doesn't _that_ just sum it up perfectly.

**To Be Continued**


	7. Of Trackers and Trees

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**A/N: May I please just say, I am SO sorry for the huge lack of updating. That's what I get for trying to write so many things at once.**

**Thanks a load to SHeWithNoName for reviewing and Alerting!! Also to DarkFlame Alchemist for Favoriting, and Adorkable93 for Alerting!!**

**One last thing: gomenasai, but I seriously need to cut down on chapter length. I won't post any chapters shorter than a thousand words, though. Hopefully not having to write three-thousand-word chapters will mean faster updates. I hope.**

**Chapter Seven: Of Trackers and Trees**

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

And the pandemonium hadn't ended yet. In the next ten seconds, Tazuna invited us over to his house, and Kakashi collapsed.

I wasn't sure which incident I disliked more.

We trudged to the old man's place, taking turns carrying Kakashi (okay, maybe more like dragging him..). His irate daughter, Tsunami, greeted us.

She set up a floor futon for Kakashi, who was half-awake by that time and explained that he had overused the Sharingan. _Terrific_, I thought. _What good is a technique-especially a powerful one-if you can't use it without knocking yourself out?!_

He slept through most of the next few days. Eventually, we got extremely bored. Naruto and Sakura even attempted to lift off his mask while he slept, but by the time they had worked up the guts to do it, Kakashi had bolted upright with a nervous look on his face. Guess even Jonin can have nightmares.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

"Something is wrong," Kakashi announced over lunch later that day.

_Uh…__**duh**__?_ I couldn't help thinking. _Which thing are you specifying? We're stuck on a B-rank mission when it was supposedly only D-rank. I have to deal with the Emo Kid until the old man finishes his bridge. This rice tastes about a year old, give or take a few days. Take your pick._

"Trackers like that boy usually-no, always-dispose of the body on the spot," he informed us. "And think about the weapon he used to 'kill' Zabuza."

_Needles,_ I remembered. _But what the heck is so special about-_

_Hang on. Needles. Acupuncture._ Words from half-listened-to lectures at the Academy raced through my head.

Some medics used old-fashioned methods instead of jutsu. Those medics often used needles, inserted into certain parts of the body, to create a sort of fake death. They would knock out the patient and temporarily stop all organs.

So, assuming I wasn't completely on the wrong track, that meant-

"Zabuza is most likely still alive," Kakashi declared.

_..Well, that cements it,_ I decided, swallowing hard as Tazuna sputtered in disbelief. _We are dead ninja walking._

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

A pep talk followed, of course-some mush about how much all of Team Seven had improved-along with a promise of additional training.

Irritating as the concept of being trained by this weirdo was, I had to admit it was a necessary tactical move. If Zabuza was alive, and attacked again, then we were finished. Actually, I was moderately sure that we were finished regardless of training, but hey-Kakashi had to keep morale up somehow, I suppose.

Naruto, staying true to form, was pumped up about the extra training. "Sounds like fun!" he exclaimed.

Just as I was seriously wondering if he needed a head examination, the words "That's not fun" came out of nowhere. We turned simultaneously to see a small kid with a striped hat and messy, dark hair standing in the doorway, eyeing us all with a wary and tired look.

"Inari, say hello," Tsunami instructed him. "They're the shinobi who defended your grandfather_._" _Oh. Tazuna's grandson, huh? _

The kid looked up at us with a scowl and, unbelievably, proceeded to tell his mother, "Why bother? They're all gonna die anyway."

_..Charming._ The little brat.

"What did you say?!" Naruto roared.

"You can't beat Gato," the kid snapped, using that matter-of-fact tone that Ika often did.

"I'm gonna be Hokage!!" Naruto persisted as Sakura restrained him. "This Gato guy is nothing against me!!"

"Overconfident much?" I muttered.

"What are you, stupid?" Inari growled. "If you wanna live, then leave." He turned and left the room.

"Oh, how ominous!" I grumbled to myself in a tone dripping with sarcasm. "Some kid tells us we can't win. We should turn and go home."

"Maybe he's been traumatized," Ika suggested lightly.

"Don't play therapist, Ika," I warned. "I'm tired enough as it is without having to slap you." She shrugged and (thankfully) shut her mouth.

**.,.,.,.,.,.,**

The next day Kakashi took us all into the nearby woods (he was on crutches, I might add) to begin our extra training.

Whoopie.

"First off, I want to clarify a few points about chakra," he began.

"Hang on-what's chakra?" Naruto asked.

I closed my eyes. _You have __**got**__ to be kidding me. We're going to fight the Demon of the Bloody Mist..with a Genin so stupid he doesn't even know what chakra is?!! Why, god, why do you hate me so?!_

Kakashi must have been thinking along the same lines, albeit probably less harshly.

"I must've slept through that class," Naruto explained, looking sheepish.

"Idiot," the Emo Kid muttered.

"For once, I agree," I said under my breath. Ika turned and sent me a slow grin. I frowned. If she decided to pester me about agreeing with the Uchiha, there was an excellent chance that I would reach 'Homicidal' mode before lunchtime. Fortunately, she said nothing. Which was a feat in itself.

I ended up spending the first few minutes of our precious training time half-listening to a supremely boring lecture on chakra, administered by Sakura. _Why can't it wait?_ I thought unhappily, looking at the sky with what was probably a pleading expression. _The rest of us already sat through this crap in school!_

The sound of sharp metal hitting dirt shot through my bored stupor. I blinked, looked down, and saw a kunai knife embedded in the dirt at my feet. It looked like every Genin had gotten one. _Is he going to make us fight to the death or something? _I wondered. _Guess I could think of worse ways to spend the morning.. _(Relax, I was kidding. _Kidding_!)

"Use those to mark your progress," Kakashi instructed. "Go ahead and start."

Wait-_start_?!

Oh, _crap_! I had spaced out a little too long.

_What the flipping heck am I supposed to be doing?!!_

Everyone else snatched up their knives, and ran at a tree.

_Uh, okay..running at trees..I can do that.._ I followed suit, a beat or two behind the others.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw all of the Genin attempting the same thing, which appeared to be..running up the side of the tree. Um, _huh_?! I stopped short. I mean, really, what the heck!

The laws of gravity were inevitably enforced, sending Naruto and Kasu to the ground on their butts. Ika managed a step or two purely out of momentum, then fell backwards. Birdhead, of course, made it a good way up the tree before making a mark with his kunai and flipping off the trunk to land on his feet. _Show off. _At least I knew what the kunai were for.

Sakura, to my surprise, had made it the furthest, and was sitting casually on a branch not far from the very top. She grinned down at us.

"…Saki?"

I winced. _Oh great. Here it comes._ There I was, standing like an idiot while everyone else at least _attempted_ the training exercise. This could not possibly reflect well on me.

"Which part of the drill didn't you understand?" Kakashi inquired with an evil kind of cheerfulness.

"I, uh…" I was screwed, that's what I was.

"Would you like me to explain it again?" the evil sensei continued. _He's enjoying making me squirm, the jerk…_

"No," I said without thinking. Apparently my brain had gotten sick of my stammering and decided to go on autopilot. Which was bad, seeing as I had _no freakin' clue_ what was going on. Apparently we were supposed to run up a tree sideways. Great. _How_??

"Were you making sure your tree wasn't going to fall down under you?" Kasu teased, the familiar grin on his face. I shot him a look that I hoped conveyed the message, _I am going to kill you using nothing more than a spoon and my fingernails_.

"Well, Saki, since you decided not to run at the same time as everyone else-for some inexplicable reason-why don't you take your run now?" Kakashi 'suggested' with relish.

"…" I never thought there would be a sensei I despised more than Touko. But Kakashi could give her a run for her money.

But of course, I couldn't back down. And I would rather pull my own teeth out one at a time than admit I didn't hear a word of his lecture.

I nodded, hiding behind a thin mask of confidence, and bent to pick up my assigned kunai.

"Ready when you are," Kakashi said cheerfully.

…_I hate you._

I bolted, running at the nearest tree with as much speed as I could. When it looked like I was about close enough to kiss the trunk, I lifted my feet and kept running-_up_.

For about oh, two seconds.

It was like some old cartoon. My feet were still moving at fifty miles an hour, but I wasn't going up anymore. Momentum had been spent, and I was about a millisecond away from falling. And that was going to hurt.

Remembering the kunai knife, I raised it and made a deep gash in the tree just in time. I could feel myself tipping backwards, so I attempted to push off from the tree and flip over. It was a crapshoot whether or not I would land on my feet, but hey. Desperate times.

I kicked off, and for a few glorious seconds I felt like I was flying.

Then I remembered, _Oh yeah, I'm __**falling**__._

On the upside, I managed to land on my feet.

On the ever-present downside, I didn't get my bearing fast enough, and ended up tripping over aforementioned feet and landing flat on my face.

Figures.

I heard snickers as I picked myself up off the ground. I wanted to kill the snickerer, and then find a nice quiet place where I could curl up and die.

Yeah, death sounded good right about then.

**To Be Continued**


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